Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
