goodnight i made you a song goodbye
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
