I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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