Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
