Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
