so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
