you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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