Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
