the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
