apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I need to sanitize my soul.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
