Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize