Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
