I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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