Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
