i barfeds in our rink
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
