Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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