Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
