just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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