Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize