oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
