the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
