My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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