holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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