I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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