He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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