Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
