You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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