so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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