CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize