...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
