You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
