Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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