TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
