His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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