I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
