i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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