Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize