yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
