Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
a search helicopter?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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