im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
