I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Michael Bay diarrhea
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
