No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
