I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
