The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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