So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
