so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
