Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
