oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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