I'm laying in your front yard are you home
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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