Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So much rum. So many feels.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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