He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
God, I missed his penis.
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