she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize