Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize