Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
