I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
