what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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