every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
