Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
