I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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